Pachyderms - Perhaps the most endangered species inside the boundries of Loop 610.
Parents - The root of all evil.
Freud was the first modern thinker to place all blame for his shortcomings on his parents, something we now take for granted in every day life. In the 60's parents were viewed as "stiffs" or "straights" and the Baby Boom Generation decided that rebellion was needed. In the 90's parents were told that they were responsible for their kids not doing well in school because they didn't take enough interest in their education. Today parents are told that they are responsible for the poor education system because they are not willing to throw endless amounts of money at programs that are producing diminishing returns.
Park N' Ride - A practical transportation solution thrust into the background by an imminently less practical, more expensive and less effective toy.
Parks - Urban equivilents of the Garden of Eden.
Partisans (See: Puppets, Sock for more)
Pavilions, Houston - Further proof that profit and Government business principles are mutually exclusive terms.
Pecking order - Something rolled out occasionally for the express purpose of reminding others that they are below the subject on it.
Perennial Candidate - See: Bell, Chris.
Person - A political unit of measure.
PeTA - Proof that idiots make the loudest advocates.
Petro Dictators - The funniest phrase from Night two of the Democratic Convention. I have no idea what it means either, but it was too priceless to not include it.
Pi - Numerical shorthand used by bloggers and mathmaticians a few times each year to prove their superiority over those who shun its use.
Pie - An infinitely more practical, tasty and worthwhile use of the sounds "P" and "eye".
Pitiful - Adjective to describe the state of any Government project in operation for a period longer than five years.
Pity - A statement of our joy that certain misfortunes have not fallen on us.
Pizza (American) - Carboard covered with slop.
Pizza (Italian) - Delicious, practical, healthy food first used by workers as carry-along meals.
Podcasts - Verbal (rather than visual) ego-strokes. (see: Blog)
Pole - Public enemy number one.
Since taking office Mayor White has been doggedly targeting sexually oriented businesses (S.O.B.'s) all but painting them as the first sign that the Apocalypse is in Houston. Since he's also stated that he wants a better Houston for "all people" one must assume that the true enemy is "not" the topless dancer, or club owners, but...the pole.
Police - A state that should be avoided at all costs, but to whom even those against them cry first when the bovine excrement hits the environmental oscillator.
Political capital - IOU's held held in trust as payment for a willingness to bend-over politically without lubrication in the past. Skilled politicians have a lot of this.
Politicians - Whores with a campaign fund.
Politics - Prostitution perfected, institutionalized, and dressed up in custom suits.
Pollen - Technically, its dander released from plants that serves an important role in the reproductive process. In reality pollen is the most venemous substance in God's creation.
Polygamy - An ancient form of economic security that's been pushed out of popularity by the rise of feminism.
America has a problem of classifying economic issues in terms of morality, something that no only electrifies the issue, but also obscures its true roots. Polygamy is not, in and of itself, immoral. In ancient times the wealthy were more likely to have several wives, either due to political reasons or because of economics. A rich husband could support more wive's families, so by default he was married more often. The original underlying cause of polygamy wasn't morals, but financials. The same mistake is made today with gay marriage. The overriding principle behind gay marriage isn't love, but finances. Partner's receive benefits, health insurance and other perks from being married that unmarried couples do not. The actual act of love does not change.
Pundit - Increasingly: failed political prostitutes selling their insight on the profession to the highest bidder.
Puppets, Sock - Devotees to any one major political party.
One only needs to tune into the Party Conventions during a major speech to understand the appeal of sock puppets to the major parties. People who are willing to forgo common sense while nodding expactantly, cheering on demand, and waving pre-distributed signs on key are vital to the production values of a good convention. Typically, Democrats do this better than Republicans due to their ability to to suppress self-pride in the hopes they will get on television for just a second or two. The other option are the conventions of old, where actual, real live discussion and debate occured. Something that's been outlawed in todays society.
Putz - An accurate descriptor of several people in public life that's, sadly, gone out of style.